Well, sweetheart is leaving me for four months to bring pride for our country.
It's only three days since he left me but I am already feeling his loss. To my horror, he even told me that the four months period might be extended. Hopefully with Allah's will, it will not happen.

I tried to be strong and not to cry when he leave. But, I just can't hold back my tears. I swear when I board the bus, tears just stream down on my hot face. I just couldn't help it. Right now, I am taking everything slowly and steadily. I know, my boyfriend isn't the perfect boy and the ideal husband like I want. He did shits to me too. But, nobody's perfect. Even I did alot of wrong doings to him too. Now, you people know why I can't leave him right? I just couldn't bear the loss.

I swear, I wasn't the perfect girlfriend. All along, I am not so supportive with his job as a regular. You know, if your boyfriend is in national service and you make a big fuss out of it, wait till your boyfriend becomes a regular if he decides to sign on. You will sure get what I meant. Time span with you will be short and overseas trip here and there.

After he went off, I realise this mistake. I should be more supportive with what he is doing since he finds joy in what he is doing. And, sometimes, I can be super rude to him. I can't help it. I will sometimes hung up the phone if I feel like it. Sometimes, out of the blue moon, my mood will change. From good to an unexplained bad one. There was once that I actually text him saying that I am close with another guy friend of mine. I did this because I felt that I am losing him already and he was to obcess with his career that I was left behind. I am so sorry dear for doing so.

Now, I've promised myself. I will turn over a new leaf. I promise myself. I will change for both parties. It's okey if I am the one who have to suffer. I just want the best for both of us.

Ya Allah,

Kau berikanlah perjalanan Dino Alfian Bin Dinas, perjalanan yang selamat.

Jauhkanlah dia daripada perkara-perkara yang tidak diingini.

Selamat pergi dan selamat kembali ke Singapura.

Lindungi dan perlihara lah hambamu itu Ya Allah.

Amin.

Waiting for you patiently here... Love ya.