I carve YOUR name in my heart; PERMANENT.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

~~I try to hold on.~~
Its tough.
Its suffering.
I cried. I bleed.
I try to deny to myself that we are perfect together.
but the reality gets real as time pass.
we've got too many differing views. too many differing goals.
the fight after fight we had, i tried to swollow.
i tried my best to be my best for you.
i swollow the pain bit by bit though its tough.
the time i shed tears in front of humanoids,
the scene we made in front of your own blood.
the words you put into my mouth which i never uttered.
i just feel like letting everything go.
everything.
the castle we built on top of the clouds together.
the cupid we drew on the sand together.
but, it seems like it is just a never come true dream.
the cloud castle is slowly dissappearing.
the cupid is slowly fading.
for now,
~~i will just be in silence...~~
waiting for you to change...
i will just hold on to your less than firm grip.
hold on...
till your plams sweat..
droplets form..
my hand is wet against yours...
& lastly until this hand of mine lose touch of yours.
then i will know its over.
i am sorry....

i will hold on to your hand & never let go no matter what happens. i promise...

ps. sorry if this entry seems useless.
but after updating this entry,
he called and in that instant,
my heart beamsss ((:
goodbye.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
4:12 PM

Friday, November 24, 2006

First of all, reply to taggies,

heedayu: eys! good for you larh if you're enjoying this semester. cause its geeting from bad to worse for me. i got at least 3 lab reports each week plus more stuff to study. worse still, that bitch is ruining my life in some ways. oh & batuk aku dah baik! woohoo! tkyah telan strepsils!

banana: heh? tak sakit kerh nak korek2 tu? what is it call? i want to buyyy! i use biore and givera still cannot seh! haha yes, i am crazy already. apa nak buat, just persevere uh. tapi its suffering like hell lah. haha. u can eat larh dey. how skinny you want. siow!

zul: by doing that, i will need to do a plastic surgery to replace my cacat nose with yours okehhh. idea baik eh kau bagi. hish.

shaf: yess. kau pemalas nak update. ckp orang konon! hish. khabar baik.. plus STRESS seh! haha.

anonymous: haha. ehh tt model bodoh eh. nak mcm mana punyre kering pon tak tahu lar. badan lawa alreadyy still mkn tomato & apple aja yet still muntahkan balik. crazzyy.

Nur Atiqah: hahahaha. wth? what the hell you mean? lols.

Alright, life sucks right now.
this starvation mode is suffering.
its already one week without starch.
but i shall still hang on until feb 2007. insyallah...
i got hell lots to catch up with school work now.
& hell yes i failed my organic chemistry class test with flying colours.
even its class test... so what? i failed okeyy.
oh pls pls pls i dont want to repeat any modules nxt semester.
i must start my engine running & start mugging hard for common test which is less than a month time.
oh and this few weeks has been a shag one for me.
maybe due to the hockey tournaments clash with the lab reports & leave me no time to study.
after the last match which will be next week, I will be free from any activities
& shall stay in school until 8 to study with the care & share group on every mon & fri.
oh & yes, the previous match which was against the combined ITE's.
nyp girls hockey team won 5-0 against the ite girls team. (:
next will be on next weds against ngee ann poly.

oh & yes, i didn't realise how weird my friends can be until today.
one of my male classmate whose identity shall be kept secret did something which make me really freak out! HAHA.
it was during the quality control tutorial when he sat beside me.
& i handed him two unused sticky notes which i dont need anymore.
he took them and rolled them like spring rolls which circumference can fit inside the belt holes.
then, he carefully insert those spring rolls- like sticky notes into his belt holes!
&& he wore his belt in the middle of his butt!
oh and he nudged me and showed me 2 fake dick of his, sticking out like that!
and he was playing with them with his hands!
& i was like " are you sick or going insane heh?"
then, he took a pen and drew tiny lines on the sticking out fake dicks.
omg. me and salma thought he drew pubic hairs, but then, he said...
"No no. its not pubic hairs. its suppose to be wrinkle on my dick" LMAO.
this guy really needs some brain scanning!
oh & i drew this scenario using paint for better view. HAHAHAHAH.

& just now, this particular classmate of mine who was sitting beside me for lecture
almost makes me faint from laughing too hard...
i dialled irah's number but to no avail.
then, theres this voice message after the unanswered call.
it goes mcm " heelo irah takda. dia off hp atau taknak angkat agaknyer. call balik later" in a bapok like voice. its funny lah. haha.
so i told that classmate of mine to dial back the number to hear the message for herself.
so she did.
she told me, she could hear " hello hello hello hello?" but she just kept quiet, waiting for the bapok voice to keluar...
thinking it was the voice msg i heard previously.
skali baru dia realise that it was irah not that voice message. buat malu aja seh. haha.
okey enough nonsence.
okeh bye.

sincerely,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
11:30 PM

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Finally updated.
been very busy with
lab reports, lab reports & more lab reports.
Class tests waiting for me.
just when i thought i am able to run away from mitochondria and ribosomes,
i am wrong again.
people say that poly is a place where slackers are able to slack.
BUT,that is freaking absolutely wrong.

Been out for the whole weekends with sweetheart.
saturday went to queensway in search for hockey grip.
later vivo la city.
& later met his family and cousins & went dinner at west coast with them.
sunday was slacking day.
all the thing we did was lazing around outside esplanade
& camwhore & sing song & laughing our ass off & talk crap & smack each others butt & bite each other hands & kiss each other lips [=
then later at night, went to akak su's, sweetheart cousin crib.
she just came back home from a vacation to bangkok.
& she gave me two pairs of dangling ear rings.
& gave sweetheart a lacoste polo tee.
& some other stuffs.
then, home sweet home.
& sweetheart, when you are you going to freaking transfer all the pictures from your phone to the computer! -_-"

oh & yesterday hockey match ( Tournament against Polys and ITE's) against singapore poly girls team goes well.
the constant on and off heavy rain failed to stop the game.
but, instead of starting the match at 5,
it was further delayed to 6.45pm and ended at 8pm.
nyp won 20-0.
the next game will be on weds.
which will be against ite & this gonna be tough
& i am shivering already.
i will just pray hard for everything to run well.

okey bye.

xoxo,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
1:24 PM

Saturday, November 18, 2006

yey.
its saturday today.
time for me to have my mental break.
this week has been a total freaking shag-ing week for me.
reports. class tests. hockey trainings.
been sleeping like only 3 hours each night.
woke up at 11.40am just now. ahhhhhhhhh.
look, i am deprived of beauty sleep.
today mark the last day of my puasa enam.
then, i can start my new mission on monday.
for three months, i wont touch my biggest enemy call rice.
its only vegs, fruits & cereals for me.
& wednesday gonna be my training in the school gym
& friday will be my hockey training
& saturday night gonna burn those flabs by jogging for 6km.
i must endure this for 3 months.
the fruit i will bear later (:
i will prove those idiots tt i can do it.
especially to those fools who constantly demoralising me,
condeming me, giving me the bullshit face and ah whatever.
i swear upon God, i will make a change in the history of my life.
i am already determined to make a drastic change...
wish me luck lovelies. *chuckles*
so next week gonna be a tournament against the singapore poly.
got 4 tournaments in a row! like toot!
the raya outing with my darlings were fun.
except tt i tend to be more quiet in the later night.
idk whats wrong with me.
stomach upset maybe
or just pure pms.
yesssss. gonna meet sweetheart later & going to search for the hockey grip later
& his shoerack nak letak at camp. apa saja. haha.
oh, and anyone know of any good products to remove blackheads?
i am finding them getting more and more annoying larh.
goodbye.

sincerely,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
1:18 PM

Sunday, November 12, 2006

i am suppose to read my lecture notes on project enginerring drawing.
but, here i am. updating my blog instead.
tt subject really sucks to the core man.
like wth does top, side back view got to do with my chemistry- based course? dummy.
now i have to recap my D&T work which is like 3 years ago seh. berkarattt.

okeh so, i found tt constant updating of blog is making me sick recently.
updating is like... asking me to memorise history facts! HAHA.
i've been out so regularly lately,
& only be back home past 11.
went t.m with sweetheart last two days to catch the grudge 2.
its an awesome movie which kick ass.
except for some typical mat wannabe in the a few front rows which were always laughing macam nenek dia orang peh laki punyer theatre. tsk tsk. they seriosly in need of some personal teaching on basic manners and etiquette.
& went vivo and later marina square with sweetheart in search of the err...
mcm kain for the hockey stick peh handle. idk what its called. lols.
but to no avail lah. hee.
so, went pool instead & played some arcades. haha.
had dinner at kfc and went home.
i had so much fun yesterday swetheart though its a little bit mendak. haha
the constant laughing, lame jokes, the chasing after one another giler-ness, wacks each other pantat, and not forgetting the "puh-blik" trick to spit at someones face! haha.

been out all day
& today is sit at home & study day.
must mug for the coming test.
so long lovelies (:
may God bless all of us with a blissful day ahead okeh. amin.

oh & when i browsed my pictures folder just now, i saw this really interesting pose of hidayu!
this is a very rare pose of hers okeh & you can only see it in my blog. haha.
ayu, ini bukan sabotage okehh.
but, i find this fcuking damn cute! LMAO.

the perempuan melayu terakhir. ehem ehem. (:

much love,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
1:19 PM

Monday, November 06, 2006

cough cough.
go away.
go away and never come back please..
this cough is getting worse.
i am coughing like i am abt to die soon. hish really.
this non-stop constant cough is making my chest pain.
i shall bear with this for the moment.

okeh. yesterday, some of my relatives came over to my place for raya visit.
includes sweetheart family.
btw, sorry sweetheart never layan sangat semlm. HAHA.
cause busy in the kitchen helping mum plus theres so many humans in my place.
tak terlayan.
mum cook bone steak which i dont like
because i dont eat red meat & i dont love steak. HAHA.
makan kuah dia with roti aja lah (:
then, to mum's horror,
the steak she cooked is not enough to serve the humanoids coming to my place.
so, cik paridah is the life saver.
coincidence, she also cook the same dish as mum.
so, she bring some of hers which is dia termasak lebih to my place.
then, at 9pm,
this particular aunty, which i guess is the cousin to my mum.
which makes me and his son a far far far far away cousin lah.
wahlouuuwayyy. she came and complain about her family problem to my mum and one of my aunty.
i can see my mum's tired face and she was yawning. lols.
she talks from 9pm to 1 am!
straight four hours.
even after my aunty had left my place,
shes still there!
by 12, i am already shag.
so i just took a bath, cium tangan makcik tu and close the door, and hog onto the phone (:
like so merepek larh. tak tahu ke orang nak tido? hish. -_-"
okeh, goodnight.
tmrw must wake up at 5.30am! life wtf.
toodlieeuuu.

muchi love,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
11:10 PM

Friday, November 03, 2006

Ya Allah,
i feel like dying man.
my throat is getting from bad to worse.
i dont think i can taste bitterness or sweetness of food.
my block nose is hindering me from making me happy ):
& my cough is freaking scary.
i cough like 34894235 time per hour.
till i hear some tsk tsk from some idiots in the lecture room during organic science lecture just now. nabei.
its not like i purposely force myself to cough like man. cb.
& my voice sounds more like a haggard old man now.
this feeling is toturing
& i am worried myself.

oh. yesterday.
suppose to have a hockey match against the ITE's.
but, they cancelled it halfway. idk why.
this is so stupid. cancelling a match which gonna start in another less than 24 hours. nabu.
oh nvm.
so, it is replace by the girls from st. theresa girls school.
its a pure harsh game.
i ran like a mad goat chasing and defending one of the player. -_-"
& one thing happend.
one of my hockey partner get her tiny right finger injuered.
our coach send us to SGH straight after i finish the game.
without removing shin pads, wearing the long black socks and boots, and shorts,
we rushed her to SGH.
i felt so awkward when everyone look at us.
da lah masuk mcm hospital mcm nak main bola at padang,
kena pikul bags plus hockey stick pulak tu.
she had to get the nail of her tiny right finger removed.
plus her skin was thorn and i could see her flesh.
so, the surgeon had to cut a bit of her skin from her palm
and paste it to the flesh with missing skin.
thats pure nasty.
she cried when given the injection to numb her hand.
& i swear i was half way closing my eyes when i saw it.
i can see the needle slowly making its way to the veins, under her skin.
& she was squeezing my hands and all i can do was watch
and be there for her.
her mum & god father came 2 hours later and i sat there until 10.30.
left sgh at 11, before she finish her minor surgery.
i pity her.
well, take care my dear friend.
oh well, we won the match by 1-0.

muchie love,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
9:20 PM