I carve YOUR name in my heart; PERMANENT.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

F R I E N D

Defination of 'friend ' :

a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.

When you said, "Now i know what kind of true friend you are".

You must be kidding me bitch. In the first place, i don't even think that you know the meaning of a true friend. You don't even fit to be categoried as a comrade in need. A true friend will never finds it funny when her own friend gets humiliated & she too adds on to the luaghter.I never and will never regard you as my samaritan. Being my true friend is such a far cry.

Excuse me, I don't need someone like you to ruin my entire beauty of life. i won't let thorns paint black all over my rainbow painting. i am so happy that you saw what i did and i hope this will finally makes you realise your mistake and your fucking attitude will just make more people hates you and start to write notes of hatred on you.

May Allah opens your heart to hear people's advice. Defending yourself and ending up finding faults & not be able to support them is just a waste of time. i won't want to waste my time on this kind of humanoids. sometimes, i just think if you ever had a best friend before. cause, it seems like everyone who finally knows your true colours, simple just hates you. people are just pretending to befriend you. but when they know your real reflection which is hiding behind those soyabean-liked face, they will just smacks head, sigh, shows middle finger, and walks away.

i love my friends.

i've come across to many kind of friends.

i can still remember vividly, how close i am to my 10 years superclose friend & how i lost her later.

i can still recall, how close i am to my 4 years super close friend & how i lost her later.

& now, one of my someone, i regard sibling is gone, leaving without any news. just the pictures we took accompanies me.

this just makes me ask,

do true friends ever exist?

i will like to take this oppurtunity to thank my dear friends whom been there for me. even not all the time, i still treasure it.

i love my friends...

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
10:14 PM

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Life has been quite okeh.
fixing matters after matters here and there.
maybe yesterdays were the downs
but nowadays, were the ups.
people who tried to help,
thank you very much.
it's greatly and deeply appreciated.
plan to the zoo with sweetheart was backfired
due to the rain & time constraint.
so, just went to had dinner together
& later, catch a movie, "Gridiron Gang", featuring Dwayne Johnson
whom i find him SUPER HOT in that movie [[:
& his body makes me drools, pls. HAHA.
the story line will touch hearts of every insane humans.
it's about ex-convicts finding it tough to be losers,
& a soccer couch bringing up the new spirit in them,
to prove the society that they can change,
only when given the chance.

HOTTIE shakes my bootie. weee`

Last friday,
met ayn sayang after lecture,
accompanied her to find her mum's birthday gift.
had dinner, nd went to her crib
to catch a glimpse of akak shikin's new-born, Nur Asyirah.
& how lucky am i.
aunty josephine, wife to one of ayn's uncle came to.
the last time i saw her is during akak shikin's wedding,
when her tummy is still big.
now, she's delivered.
& her baby, Nur Regina, is so adorable. haha.
i believe,
the born of a baby can really makes one smile.
the born of a child is no other than a blessing from God.

Nur Asyirah

Nur Regina

i love babies [:

Mummy & Daughter.

Regina after wash up. dah wangii la dia..

&& a video of regina. see her smile to the camera. awww cute!

much love,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
12:57 PM

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

vividly, our promise flash at the back of my mind.
the words we uttered that we should hold on to were just washed away.
our string is like a slow transition of an end.
it feels like the load attached to the string is more than half heavy.
fourteen days, our eyes hasn't met.
the sense of missing you burns in my soul, trying every way to escape but to no avail.
yet, we still fight.
i hold back my tears, lets time envelope everything,
and just go through this slow transition of mental killer.
if i ever got the chance,
my jaw will just drop seeing you stood rooted to the ground,
asking me to just close the door without even kissing goodbye.
i wish this is all just a dream.
i am just a fool when it comes to reality.
kill me. goodbye.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
11:10 PM

Monday, January 15, 2007

I wish there's never today.
Those words which came from his mouth,
pierce through my chest,
across my heart
& plant a seed of pain all over me.
especially when he's suppose to be the closest to you
& would kiss you goodbye each night without consider it sinful.
how i just wish i am in a fairytale where everything is so sweet and ends with a happily ever after?
i am just deprived of his love.
i am too weak too even hold on to this.
all i could do was just to sit away from him for some time,
let those drops of tears roll down
& trying my best to put my heart into pieces back.
in the eyes of others,
they may think i am insane.
it's beyond my limits to cut the string between us.
because it will never be possible even if recarnation is true.
if the hero hasn't called to console
& make my heart skip a beat each time i hears him calling me,
i would have shed blood of life.
Dear Allah, my God,
is this one of the test you install for me in life?
it is like a river never ending,
a wheel which keeps spinning
& a girl who's lost in a dark forest of thorns, finding herself caught in the middle of nowhere.
nevermind.
i will just be the lady of mute in this house.
goodbye.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
8:35 PM

Friday, January 12, 2007

Dear blogger,
i am in a constant shaged mode.
i barely got enough sleep after the semester break
& finding myself indulge in only a barely three hours of sleep each night.
tuesday nights were better when i get five hours of sleep.
i am feeling very dreadful.
this course is getting more and more demanding as time passes by.
i will say today is my offcially "malu seperti kambing biri biri day".
as usual, from campus to home,
i will take the train from yck station,
had to changed at jurong east station,
& later take train towards boon lay.
but, today was different.
i was too tired that i slept right after i reached woodlands station.
i slept soundly until i swear i don't bother about people looking at me.
i was just too tired to be bothered anyway. haha.
i was head banging as i slept.
macam kena sampuk siaa.
lucky enough i got those earpiece stuck in my ears.
maybe, people will be thinking that i am listening to some rock
and getting obcess all over it. LMAO.
then, suddenly,
when i opened my eyes,
with my super blur face,
i rubbed my eyes and gave my hand a scratch,
i told myself,
" eh, dimana aku berada sekarang? "
TERLAJAK.
in fact, i was alone, sleeping in the train at jurong east for a few minutes when the other passengers were transfering train!
it's only at bukit batok station when i realised this. SHIT.
I am super malu siaaaa. HAHAHAHA.
i will dig a hole and bury my head inside if i saw the ahpek in front of me just now.

okeh bye.
saya malu!!!!

umairah [:

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
9:45 PM

Thursday, January 11, 2007

If i could turn back time,
yesterday after midnight will be my pick.
i swear i could have just keep that matter to myself
& not telling you the truth
because its just some dark patches of my life.
but, i just cant because you are already part of me.
where has all the trust you have on me?
where's the old sweet you which i had a fetish for?
where's the soft spoken man i used to know last time?
it's gone.
i hope you knew what you were saying yesterday
& realised what you're doing.
you're just implying : You Don't Trust Me. enough. I had enough Bullshit.
that night, the prince of my heart has turned to a demon whom i never knew exist.
wrecked me to tears and leaving this huge scar behind.
those words of him only make me feel so demoralize
& i felt so tiny that even the ants are more respectable than me.
i am trying hard to forget that moment.
please give me some time as i burn that incident out from my soul.
The feeling is like slicing my heart through with a knife.
It will take some time to heal.
But no matter what happen,
I will never let go.
& i love you still like before, now and after.
but if you really want it,
then i will just have to do it.
But, now, once i spit, i won't lick.

Dear Allah, help me.
Give me strenght.
Show me your guidance.
Protect me from the words of the evil Satan.
Forgive all my sins.
I am just your another weak creature that you create.
Amin...

much love,
umairah.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
6:16 PM

Monday, January 08, 2007

I find myself caught up in between laziness and malas-ness
everytime i was about to update my blog.
Plus my internet connection is always down & if its not down,
it will be freaking slow. i hate this 4576342o856 times.
Its been already seven days since sweetheart is stuck in camp -_-"
I AM SUPER LETHARGIC.
Went out with my darlings and daeng last two days.
it was fun. at least i get to spend time with my long lost girls. [:
they followed me to woodlands to sent my dad's handphone for servicing first.
i spoilt it. HAHA.
the on button got stuck inside once i pressed it. Kena marah lahh apa lagi. LMAO.
then, we went to marina square, to play pool.
but, the crowd made us change our mind.
So, we decided to just hang around at esplanade instead.
camwhored, talk cork, laughed & watched the emos wannabes. macam paham like that. -_-
i am looking forward to meet you guys again.
lets go out again when all three of us is free! woooo.

went to far east with che & salma today
right after school.
had nasi ayam for lunch at puncak.
Thank you very much Che for the treat! [[:
next time will be a swensens kay? haha.
then, sat down & we just talked about the past.
what me and salma thought about che last time is
absolutely right. haha.
then, went to heeren and it is pure boredom.
kill time by window shopping.
new urban male there sells fucking nice tees!
i want them ALL! ahhhh.
one tee cost $49.90.
got to really think before i buy it since i am broke now. haha.

there's hockey training cum friendly match
against the st. theresa tomorrow.
& thursday will be a match against victoria j.c.
school is really tiring nowadays. sigh.
plus being emotionally tortured by that bitch is making me down.
i really hope i just wont be in the same class as her for the next year.
she gets A for a copied work & feels proud for it.
then, will ask around what grade you get?
this is freaking annoying.
i just hope one day Allah will teach her a lesson.
& then, she will change her attitude.
somebody just have to knock her head off with reality.
but, no one has the courage or just plain cant be bothered with this.
she talks behind me but claims i am a bastard?
at least she know i hate her.
i don't PRETEND to kiss or hug her when salma's around.
i don't PRETEND to say hello to her when salma's around.
i am not a PRETEND BULLSHIT.
uh, just fuck off from my life, can? bitch.

randomly:

sincerely,
umairah.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
8:45 PM

Thursday, January 04, 2007

helo.
i am in a lovey dovey mood noawadays.
not sure myself.
but indeed, i felt much closer with him now.
the bond depleted is slowly re-building back.
school holidays were great.
the exchange sleepovers i had with sweetheart is a turn on.
so, after spending 3 days at my crib with sweetheart,
i went over to his place.
with our parents knowledge and permission of course. (:
went to the countdown with him at esplanade
& the human jam and the smelly armpits from those black sheeps doesn't stop us from catching the fireworks.
went back to sweetheart's crib around 2am.
cuddling, catched some stupid chinese film until early morn.
& slept. this is like a fairytale please. haha.

the next day, went out together with his family to the hospital
to visit syeza.
that poor girl... hope she recovers soon.
then, went to changi & the night breeze really makes me go ohlalaaa.
& later had dinner at changi village & went back to sweetheart crib.
we played the jenga game with his brother until past 2am.
we laughed and screamed and laughed! haha.
exhausted and later doze off. (:

sweetheart's having his training for 2 weeks.
& later to taiwan for 1 month.
& i will alone. HAIZ.
okeh bye.
i will miss you.

umairah

something random: