I carve YOUR name in my heart; PERMANENT.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Alhamdullilah.
finally, i managed to entangled the messy strings between us.
i thank God & some people for this.
without them,
i dont think i might be in the state of what i am now.
though noones there, beside me, to comfort me,
but i am lucky enough to have pretty souls who listen to me. thank you lovelies.

Ijat, thank you for listening to my wailings & comforting me until i feel a bit better.
you were there when i need a listening ear.
though i have no idea who you are, but deep inside me,
my soul feel really comfortable talking to you. thank you dearest friend.

Ai'in, thank you for the piece of wise words you gave me.
without you, i wont be strong enough to overcome this mess.
you energize my spirit back. you are one in a million.
like a star who brightens my life. thank you darling.

Dina, thank you for sharing your experience with me.
nevetherless, it makes me feel better.
at least i know, i am not alone experiencing this.
though i am not close to you, i am thankful that you are kind
enough to share your thoughts with me. thank you lovely.

Thank you beautiful people.
May Allah bless all of you. Amin.

sincerely,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
1:28 PM

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

i feel like dying now.
yesterday night was the nightmare
which i wish never happened.
why he said it?
& later acts like nothing has happend.
i am scared. i am scared with humans name guys.
if ever he's given the second chance,
i wont fly too high.
if i ever fly to high & when i fell,
its going to be more heart-wrenching.
i begged. i plead. i cried.
then i asked myself,
" wheres my dignity? "
why must i begged & thinking of ending my life,
just for a guy.
is it worth it? is it worth the nine month pain that my mum have to carry?
do Allah send me to live in this world for a guy?
NO. its not worth it.
but, i am too weak to stop qada' and qadar from Allah.
i am just His ordinary human.
all i can do is to pray for his forgiveness
& brighten my heart.
May Allah bless our relationship sweetheart.
i dont think i will be the old umairah you know.
i am scared to put all my trust on humans.
i dont know... the first time i cried like i lost my mother over the phone.
the first time i begged my friend to have him back.
its so not me. but i dont care.
cause i love you very much.
after you say you wanted to work things out back,
& starts afresh,
i became scared. i am scared if it happens again.
if it ever happens again,
i dont know how i will react.
i dont know...
i dont know...
i dont know...

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
10:58 PM

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

just came back from the solatul terawih.
i feel totally light & free performing solatul jemaah.
the sense of remorse can be touched & feel deeply.
i was deeply engrossed until i didnt realise its already 10.30pm.

Ya Allah, kau berkatilah bulan ramadhan tahun ini dgn segala rahmatmu.
Kau ampunikanlah segala dosa ibu bapaku.
Kau tempatkanlah arwah kedua-dua belah pihak nenek dan datuk ku
di tempat orang-orang yang beriman.
Kau ampunilah dosa-dosa ku serta dosa-dosa muslimin dan muslimat di mana
jua mereka berada.
Kau lah yang maha penyayang lagi maha pengampun.
Kau panjangkanlah kedua dua umur ibu bapaku
dan sayangilah mereka sebagaimana mereka menyayangi aku sejak kecil lagi.
Kau tempatkan lah aku di syurga firdaus mu dan jauhilah aku dari azab api neraka.
Kau bukakanlah pintu rezeki ku seluas luasnya.
Kau kekalkan lah jodoh aku dgn Alfian sehingga ke anak cucu.
Amin...

Mum bring me to visit the private docter today.
cost her $46.
I have to finished the whole lot of new medication.
suppose to have hockey training today.
but, cant make it since i am sick.
& my cough arnt getting any better.

fought again with sweetheart today.
he asked if i want to go seperate ways or still with him.
the answer is obvious.
i still love him.
like past & always the present.
this feeling wont change no matter an inch it is.
i love you alfian...

sincerely,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
10:41 PM

it's already the third day of ramadhan.
but, none of these days did my family gathered to break fast together.
first day of ramadhan, break fast with sweetheart's family at his place.
second day, break fast with sirin at geylang.
so tomorrow, i really hope i can break fast with my siblings at least.
but tomorrow mum's not working and so do i.
so, i won't miss this golden chance.
except for dad's working and will only be back after isyak.

today is super cock up day.
boss said that me and sirin were paused from our surveyor job for a period of time.
this makes me feel that we're fired seh! macam sial larh.
boss also big fuck.
he doesn't know how to call one day before in advance is it?
why must last minute then call me and ask me to come to his office to meet him.
limit limit, when saw his face, to my horror, he said,
" pls pass all your completed surveys froms".
I was fucking shock! i swear i am.
then, there goes everything. i don't meet their 12 surveys per hour target.
so, off i go. ) : sedih okeh.

oh, and has anyone got the cure for coughing?
my cough has worsen nowdays.
i ahve been suffering from severe coughing since the alst 1 month.
then just now, when i breathe, i can feel someone is like pressing against my heart.
& its fucking painful. & my stomach feel like tumbling already.
worse still, after a long time without cat fights,
sweetheart & me fought again.
another terrible fight which leave me in pain.
i just dont know what has happen tonight.
but, everything i did seems wrong to him tonight.
he also doesnt talk like he usually did.
nvm. hati sakit. chest pon sakit. sakit otak.
okeh buhbyes.

much love,
umairah.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
12:33 AM

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Helo blog.
today's work is super cock up.
umairah in the counter station is equals to disaster.
i am quite pissed off with this collogue of mine.
the looks that shes giving me tells me that shes not willing to teach.
uh nvm. i am quitting that job soon.
the current job that i am holding gives me triple the pay of my previous job.
there are no regrets quitting that job.
just that, the memories & experience i obtained.. they are precious.
the good people i know... they are kept well in this mind.
& to the bastards there, big fuck you to you yah. thank you (:

i can feel that i am different today.
went back home by bus.
& i missed a few bus stops when ayu gave me a msg,
" eh kau terlajak eh? "
thanks to her, i am home by 11.
then, went i was home, mum & my other siblings were watching this drama series on teevee.
it attracted me so much that i also join along.
it's a religion base story.
i can feel the remorseful in me & tears roll down my cheek.
& i got scared when i heard the meaning of surah Al- Qariah.
talking about Kiamat.
Subhanallah.. For us yang masih hidup,
for those who never perform solat,
Solatlah sebelum kamu disolatkan. Solat adalah tiang agama.
Allah will love those who perform solat. insyallah.

& i feel like crying man after sawing some muslims in telekung
from solat terawih.
damn. i missed the first terawih.
solatul jemaah is the best. we will get triple the pahala from solat sendiri.
what a waste man.
so, to regain the pahala, i read some surahs from the al-quran.
setiap huruf di dalam al-quran yang disebutkan dgn betul,
ganjaran pahala adalah 10 kali ganda akan diberikan kepada umat itu daripada Allah S.W.T.
Kepada umat-umat islam seantero dunia,

Selamat mengerjakan ibadah puasa
& semoga bulan ramadhan ini akan
dilimpahkan keinsafan dari Allah s.w.t.
Amin.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
1:54 AM

Thursday, September 21, 2006

oh, i am super shag by all the walking.
work at changi airport as a surveyor is fucking tiring.
you have to go about asking opinions about the service the staff gave.
then, you will face some rejections while minority were successful.
i just hate rejections. it makes me feel like bullshit.
frankly, those foreigners are much more polite than singaporeans.
though i have the singaporean blood running in me,
i am not embarassed to say this. cause, i am just stating fact.
working with sirin is fun.
we laughed. we shopped. we walked around. HAHA.
it's quite an awkward job for me though.
when you stepped near the shop in the airport,
the staff there will look at you with that " fake welcome smiley " face.
cause, if not, they won't enjoy the incentives that they will get if their service is good.
sounds an impressive job? hell no seh. PENAT okeh.
every staff from the shops in the airport has known me and sirin i bet.
cause, they have been told that persons in blazers will be conducting surveys to judge their performance.
then there you have, a bunch of hipocrites that will say " hi welcome " when we walked pass their shop. HAHA. gerek dok.
oh but now, i already feel like quitting this job.
it's tiring plus boring && i hate formal attire. makes me look older than seventeen. -_-

okeh, i am missing sweetheart terribly.
i swear i miss him terribly that i can cry
& hold his picture on my hands and kiss it 100 time. HAHA. really.
oh ohh i really hope he book out this sunday. pls pls pls God.
& because of his stupid life firing, he cant book out this saturday.
super leceh larh army. -_-
oh & his super sweet seh just now on the phone.
i dont know what's got into him but i what i know, i am melting. gaga.
MELTTTTTTT!

okeh, tmrw meeting sirin at tanjong pagar to colect the documents first before heading to changi airport. saya penat sekali. goodbye.

much love,
umairah.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
11:14 PM

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH!
Thanks to Allah the Almighty.
I PASSED all my papers!
yey yey yey!
Don't have to worry for sub papers. ((:

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
1:41 AM

okeh, i would like to take this oppurtunity to thanks
Dina Natasha Bte Taslim.
For making this pretty layout for me. (:
I like it very much.
It's hot like you. haha.

So, today.
went orchard to look for a blazer and a formal pants.
cost around 56 bucks in total.
i would do anything for the new job.
i am desperate. HAHA.
so, have to wake up early tomorrow for the first ever formal job! woohoos.
i am so excited!
oh, cik oyah's son, is totally CUTE!
he's freaking hot and cute larh!
i feel like biting his cheeks.
and he have sexy eyes with hot eye lashes!
when he laugh, it makes me laugh too!
oh i have a moajor crush on Raden Sutrisno Diputra!

here's some of his pics taken just now...
it's not so clear because he was busy doing the peace sign. HAHA.

this is putra little sister. haha.

putra putra. gaga.

putra peacee. hehe.

i love babies.

much love,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
12:40 AM

Monday, September 18, 2006

helo blog.
it's been quite some time since i update my entries.
this going to be a long one indeed. i guess.
okeh, my cough is still not healing or goes any better since last two weeks.
in fact, it's getting worse.
so, 15 to 16 september. hockey camp.
its okeh larh.
hockey trainings from 4pm to 9pm.
in the rain, or shine, we still played.
dinner was canadian pizza. everything was great except for the fact that i cant sleep that night because the guys are making super loud noise. they were having fun time shouting and screaming "goal", playing the ps2 game. then, movie marathon. i can't even close my eyes. haiz.
woke up the next morning, morning run. then, played captain's ball in the nyp swimming pool.
then met sweetheart. catch a movie, the haunted apartments. storyline is fucking lame. and i find it rather funny than scary.

the next day, worked for one whole day as the mediacorp manja crew.
at the manja carnival @ Orchard. its super great.
i just have to do the suscribtion and selling.
and earned up to more than $60 per day.
i tried all the games stalls and won lots of prizes.
whitening creams, slimming creams, shampoo. HAHA.
then, met sweetheart for dinner at pizza hut.
went his home after that and the whole family sent him to nee soon camp by car.

so just now,
went to the interview as a surveyor at changi airport.
dress code: formal wear with blazer.
shirin recommended me this job.
so, i am going to wake up real early and travel all the way from jrg to changi.
then, met mum and accompanied her to geylang.
she bought for me this kebaya.
it cost $100. fcuk. damn expensive.
so, i think, i am only going to buy 1 baju.
okay, i am thinking about tmrw plan.
so many things to settle. -_-"
i am going to change the skin.. but don't know when.
no time seh. haiyo.
okeh, no mood.
buybuys.

much love,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
11:04 PM

Thursday, September 14, 2006

ho ho ho.
firstly,
i would like to thank the person who claimed herself as blogblog,
on my tagboard.
thanks for criticising me and i guess, people like this should get a life.
commenting on others without leaving their name behind.
these are what we call cowards. tsk tsk.
please, you can go suck chicken balls and do a blowjob for a dog (:

so, went queensway with ayu today.
had to find some sports stuff.
you can go down queensway to find sports item!
they offer a great range with affordable prices.
you can get turf shoe for $50.
cheap can say. better than those nike or adidas shops.
so, i bought a fbt shorts, $10.
a black long socks for training, $6.
& lastly, a green nike sports bra, $40.90.

then, went back home by train.
on the train,
me and ayu saw a daring act perform by this bangla.
ayu saw him doing something to his cock.
& she pulled me to let me see for myself.
to my horror, he was goncang.
mak ai. mula-mula pelan,
makin lama, makin lagu.
disgusted, me and ayu moved towards the other deck.
eee-uuu. surely when he took off his pants,
he gotta have a fucking wet pants covered with sperms. HAHA.

so, tmrw's hockey camp.
i am going to leave early on saturday.
so, can't participate the friendly match.
i am not looking forward to this camp.
okeh chiow.

randomly:

sincerely,
umairah.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
11:03 PM

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

dearest virtual diary,
went out with my favourite girlfriends last two days.
but i quite of ruined it. i am so sorry girls.
we went to marina to play pool and later went camwhoring ard esplanade.
suppose to catch a movie but there's no nice show to watch.
farah's already watch little man and i already watch frostbiten.
so, we played pool instead.
we were like budak budak terencat akal there.
everyone were playing seriously and keeping quiet.
but, we're behaving like monkeys.
making noises, laughing our ass off and talking like nobody's business. (:
enjoyed it very much though the cue terlompat keluar from the table.HAHA.
then, i met sweetheart at cityhall at 5pm.
we went to play pool. Again.
then, catch a movie, Little man.
then dinner at j.p.
oh he did something sweet.
he asked me to close my eyes and i did.
when i opened, he handed me this fucking cool green Levi's watch.
it's super nice. & if i am not wrong, it cost ard $150.
i have been eyeing on it for quite some time.
thank you very much sweetheart.
i know that farah and ai'in is quite pissed off when our plan to chill together until night is backfired.
but, i have to darlings. i am so sorry.
this is my last chance meeting alfian before he goes to the jungle until raya come.
i am going to make out for that okeh? dont worry.
then, suppose to go east coast with my favourite darlings today.
but it was cancelled.
ai'in have a meeting and i have to go to polyclinic.
i am caught with fever and severe cough.
and when i cough, my chest hurts.

So today,
nothing really happen.
woke up at 9.30am.
followed ayu to the market.
then, went home.
mum asked me to scrubed 46 undies and panties.
6 people in my family! hish.
then after scrubbing, have to iron the clothes.
ohkey, later gonna play basketball.
then, go for a run.
at night, gonna catch singapore idol.
today's fcuking lame.
okeh, byebye.

marina pool.

dinner at kfc.

dapat rokok pon masih frust. heh.

ai'in takderh kerja. take her own pic!

my sayangs. (:

weee!i love farah i love farah!

this is loved.

SILLY. my gigi like jongang man here! -_-

we love each other.

trios!

Ps. notice the ring on ai'in finger? that's her wedding ring (:

credits to ai'in.

TIDAKK!

mai. farah.

perangai mcam budak budak seh.

soda POP! hahaha.

yey! i love them! gogogaga. Ai'in sleeping. zzzzz.

the levi's watch. thanks sweetheart.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
1:41 PM

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Hello pretty souls.
yesterday was okeh.
went out with sweetheart to cineleisure to catch a movie, frostbiten.
its a super lame idiotic movie. i swear it is.
you guys can check it out yourself.
its super nonsence seh. waste money seh! -_-" grrrrr.
then, walked around orchard to kill time
before sending sweetheart back to nee soon camp for his life firing.
then, had dinner at b.k and later went to his home.
had a good talk with his parents and some of his secret had been digged out (:
then, met his uncle and auntie which i call ibu.
oh yes! sweetheart's has just gotten his car, a black hyundai verna.
& its super cool! pathetically, he still hasnt has his license due to his course.
after this 4 months course, then he will be taking it
& i will have free transport (: hohoho!
so, his uncle drove the car & his parents and me sent him back to camp.
and later they sent me back home.

so today, went to work.
it's quite relaxing today.
not much customer like yesterday where i caught myself sweating like a pig -_-"
& i did a stupid mistake.
i suppose to return the customer a $7 change.
but, i just close the tray and say thank you enjoy your meal without returning her the change.
HAHA. then went balik from work,
suddenly a boy ran to me and say in a slang,
" heyy, there's a dragon in tt pond".
wah! i was super shocked & find that the boy is trying to joke.
so, i just followed him to the pond in front of my store.
to my horror, i saw quite a large komodo dragon. wah scary man.
macam crocodile seh! it was hiding behind some cement.
& that boy which i guess is ard 8 years old, asked me for a plastic.
he told me, he wanted to catch tt dragon and bring it to zoo.
then i was super shocked larh.
i told him, don't talk nonsence larh you.
it will bite you okeh.
& his answer was, " oh, come on. mind you. i have touch komodo dragons for more than 10 times okeh". wah. confidence seh budak tuh. then i stood up and say up to you but don't blame anyone if you lost any of your fingers oke". and i just went home.
& his sister which is ard 5 years old i guess was asking me, " btw, who are you"
& i just answer, human (:
HAHA. malas want to layan stubborn kids.

okeh, so, tmrw gonna meet my darlings.
my favourite all time faran and ai'in.
ouh mann! we are so gonna suck our toes together!
and munch on our nails! weeeeeee~

sincerely,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
10:14 PM

Thursday, September 07, 2006

HAHA.
This video was showed to me by ijat.
it's fucking funny.
watch and laugh your ass off people (:

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
12:55 AM

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

FUCK YOU to the previous skin contributer for deleting the layout hosted. And i have to FORCE myself to change to a new skin. waste my time!

Hohoho.
NYP girls hockey team won 13-0 against TP girls hockey team.
once again, victory is ours.
i played the left defence this time round in the second half.
one of the girl was not happy,
and she showed that attitude face towards NYP players.
then, went to sweetheart's house for a while to pass his mama baju.
then, took the train home.
and some bunch of indian girls morons
who doesn't know how to behave has cause unhappiness among the passengers
whose trying to sleep!
they were dancing and talking to each other in their tamil language
which sounds like they're fighting.
i am not being racist down here.
but, due to some black sheeps,
can spoil the whole indian reputition.

so today:
I AM FUCKING SHAG.
woke up at 7.30am today.
showered, changed and went to work.
workplace today was super full and the aunties were super noisy
and i was super annoyed by the noise pollution.
work ends at 6.30 and my legs were wobbly like jelly.
reached home ard 7.15 and solat maghrib.
then, i forced myself to changed up
and went for a jog.
the normal 6km route.
by then, i am already dieing and i can feel the tension on my tighs.
haiz. tmrw kerja lagi. fuck fuck fuck.
if not because of shopping!
i wont work larh. haiyo! -_-"

sincerely,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
12:03 AM

Monday, September 04, 2006

Slept at 2.30am yesterday.
woke up at 7.30am today.
slept on the way to city hall in the train.
accompanied salma for her job interview,
ending up, i am also included. haa.
so, then later hit marina square and had cavana for lunch.
so, had walk in interview at:

- supermart in central at $5 per hour.
- starbucks @ marina at $4.50 per hour.
- mango @ marina
- one of the shops @ marina.

reached home at 4pm.
was totally shag and again,
slept all the way from city hall to boon lay in the train.
but then, the temptation of jogging is calling me hard.
change to my track shoes and attire,
wanted to jog, 6km.
especially when it's night.
the cool breeze blowing your hair as you jog. ahhh. how nice.
but, it rained.
so i jogged back home half way. -_-"

btw, i would like to take this oppurtunity to wish
hidayu tut tut a very
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
and Hanisah dong dong a very
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!

oh and never in my history,
have i camwhored in a handicapped toilet.
because of the strong desperation,
we went in and took some bodoh pictures of us. HAHA.
we even climbed up the toilet bowl (:

saya dan salma.

salma dan saya

P.O.W position. HAHA.

i just got my yellow form just now.

RAAWWRRR!

all taken in the same spot. same position. HAHA. pasal lah.

so, i gonna have another hockey match tmrw!
at temasek poly! wish me luck cause i will be needing
LOTS of them! hehe.

much love,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
9:47 PM

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Dear blogger,
2nd Sept 2006 is a day for me to remember.
i lost my handphone during the kendarat
and was freaking losing my mood after everyone was saying..
" how careless am i " and my dad called me valgurity.
the feeling just suck balls.
sweetheart scolded me once i reached his house after the kendarat at siglap cc.
the deejay in tt majlis annouce,
" sesiapa yng terjumpa dgn sebuah handphone, tolong pulangkan. jagan simpan okeh"
shit. i was freaking emmbarassed on how careless i can be.
sweetheart parents, relatives search on every under the tables but to no avail.
back home, my parents scolded me upside down. mcm *toot* ah :X

then today,
was woken by a call from sweetheart at 9am.
and he told me,
my handphone was found! yeehaa.
i swear i can't sleep after that.
i was super energetic and overjoyed.
so, he collected it for me and later hand it back to me after he's done with his deejay thing.
thank you sweetheart.
then, went to his home, iron and fold his uniforms.
it was a day to remember.
the night is the best.
then, went off to yishun,
had dinner at kfc,
and later sent him back to nee soon camp.
took a cab back home and it is a freaking big one!
with no extra charge and i got the whole space behind by myself. (:
okeh, tmrw gonna meet salma and accompany her to suntec for an interview.
must wake up early. haaahs.
7 sept strat kerja! wahlou. anyone have any job lobangs for me?!
i am sick of my current job!

One thing about army guy is that their hair is super cock up. BOTAK. hesh. -_-"
But i still love sweetheart. (:

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
11:52 PM