I carve YOUR name in my heart; PERMANENT.

Right now, I am figuring out, why is my life so complex. I felt so disgusted with myself for jumping into such complexity. Perharps, I am reading in between lines too much. Love is just a word. It couldn't be felt or touched, if only you undergo it. I keep on asking my angel, if I am going to regret with my choice? But, all I get is silence. I was left hanging in midair. I am lost. Totally.

The sound keeps on whispering to me continously. " Will you really treat me like how real man respects ladies? Will you ever appreciate me like how I appreciate you? Will you ever love me like how I love you? Will you ever show care and concern like how I poured it to you? " No doubt, it irritates me to keep on thinking of something so minor, yet fragile.

Your downpour can be shielded by the family's love. Somehow, I felt that I have lost all my sense of dignity as a woman. I have lost all my inner strength that actually holds and which actually keeps me bounded. Why do I cried and begged? To think back, I don't have to do that if our love is really true and genuine. As a person with a right mind, I realised, even if God were to put us on so much tests, as a man who really loves me, you would press on, just like how you went through the jungle confidence course, way back in Brunei. Just when you already sunk your throat in that coke, someone just tapped and talk the shit out of you to go back there and TRY AGAIN. And you did, till you successfully got it. But, you narrowed your mind and thoughts and nailed it to a final decision which ripped my heart off.

I begged. I cried. I cried and I begged again. Only the true love for you which actually lights my inner soul and place my dignity aside, and ask for you back though I know that true love isn't suppose to be begged upon. I question myself, if you ever lost me, will you actually do the same thing like what I did? Will you actually begged and plead?

I was too vulnerable and kind. When I love someone, I put my heart and soul into it. Somehow, I just don't get the same thing in return.

Then again, I asked, will you ever find someone who could love you more than how I love you? If there is, I am willing to let you go cause your happiness is the everything which matters to me.

(I let my emotions typed the words out)

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
11:28 PM