I carve YOUR name in my heart; PERMANENT.

12 am.
18 candles i blew.
The thought of celebrating it makes me sick.
the best birthday gift that my Alfian can give me is to spend the entire noon with me. be there for me and cuddle me like he used to back faraway.
middle finger to the expensive gifts or splendid candlelight dinner.
I don't need all that to put a grin on my face. Maybe i'd looked delighted. But, they sure are fake.
I longed for the cuddles and affection that you used to give me. Now, I've blown goodbye kisses to them.
Even on the early morning of my suppose to be head over heels day,
you put up a nonsencical issue for us to argue over it. ridiculous.
Even to the extrim of telling me that you'd still be able to breath even without my existence and you can't put up to all the downs anymore.
In other words, are you telling me to SCRAM?
In an instance, my head spins and my ears feels like exploding. My platelets feels like bursting and my knees feel weak, rooted to the ground.
Are you pretending all this long?
Are you making me your talking puppet with a string attached to it?
I feel so weak. For once, I feel that I am the weakest emotional moron that Allah has created.
Alfian, you got 24 hours to make up your mind.
Stay with it or end it and says fuck you to the one year and a month we've wasted together.
This is the best birthday for me I guess.

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to Nur Umairah,
Happy birthday to me...

Ya Allah,
The Alimighty,
Make me strong.
Don't let the destroyer satans take over me.
I am human. I am weak.
Amin...

Thanks for the wishes all who wishes. Allah bless all of you. Amin.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
1:03 AM