I carve YOUR name in my heart; PERMANENT.

this feeling is like shit.
i can't concentrate on what i am studying.
those sine, cosine and tangets rules doesn't get into my head.
my eyes were looking at the book, reading.
yet, my mind is away. my head is spinning.
i swear only 0.5% of what i am reading is digested in.
after the message from him,
i swear i feel like breaking down already.
was shocked to get a msg from him at 1.30pm.
normally, he won't msg me at that kind of timing.
he will normally be very busy with his training.
lagi-lagi just now firing training.
my head felt like it has been knocked with a hammer when he text me,
" syg, i feel like dying already. my fever is getting worse and my leg is hurt badly. i can't even move right now".
shit, i swear i felt like crying when i get that msg.
hurriedly gave him a call.
he sound fucking sick. but, he still can joke around with that kinda condition. haah.
he told me that he passed out at 3 am yesterday. vomited 5 times already and have only a blurry vision. he was waiting for his cousin to bring him to the hospital.
for 5 hours i waited for him to text or at least give me a call to tell me his condition.
but, received none of these.
it was like every 5 minutes i was looking at my hp.
i desperately wants a phone call from him or even a msg will do.
still receives none.
so, after i msged him, then i received a reply in rerutn saying that he's fine and in his aunt's place -_-"
i am fuckingly pissed off with him.
he could at least text me saying that he's fine.
but, i am just too sick of argueing with him already and just pretend i am feeling alright.
plus with his condition, i don't want to worsen the situation.
sometimes, i feel unimportant to him.
and sometimes, i feel like he's taking me for granted.
he will be early to book in to camp but will be late to meet me.
isn't that taking thins for granted? haish.
our plan to go out and have fun tomorrow was backfired.
suppose to catch a movie, then have dinner together, and later pic whoring at the esplanade
and just talk and crap around until night at esplanade. at 9, watch the fireworks and later he will come over to my place, visit my parents. but, it is now just a stupid plan.
nvm, he's sick.
so, i have to come over to his place and be there with him.
i don't even know if i am going to enjoy things tomorrow.
i desperately want to spent quality time with him.
now, we seldom spent time together.
and plus, next week, he's not going to book out from camp.
this feeling is like shit.
i don;t know what to type already
except for this feeling is shit.
tadi blajar at library alone from 3pm to 9pm also don't know what goes into my brain. -_-"
okeh bye.

xoxo,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
10:42 PM