I carve YOUR name in my heart; PERMANENT.

Dear virtual diary,

I am feeling a mixture of insecured, happy, overjoyed, angry, confused and contented. i am not in my state of mind right now. probably, today, was really fucked up with work i guess. bloody hell. this is the first big fight we had. i dont know what to say and what to do.

Happy. overjoyed. i told mum yesterday that i had a special friend with me right now. i can't go on telling lies to her anymore. got to have parents blessings, then you can be happy with your loved ones. amazingly, she didn't scold me. haha. neither did she nag larh. she asked me about his background. most importantly, i already got my parents blessings. my fahter is also find with it as long as my choice respects elderly without angkongs. he also already have a career of his own. so, mum is not quite worried larh. so, my mum ask him to come over for dinner or for raya visit this year. hee. the feeling is like... contented man.

next, feeling so angry. i am very very very angry until i can bite your toes and chipped your nails. grr grr grr. i was bullied larh today at work. stupid fuckers. umairah do this umairah do that. so stupid. get a few scoldings here and there today. even the new crews has took over my place, my position. stupid sehhs. haishh. my head is turning curtwhells already. i got many stuffs to think:
school.projects.assignments.money.exams.
eatingdisorder.soundswhichsometimesiimagine. arh!
malas wanna talk about this stupid shit.

okay, lastly, i think, after everything good, something bad will happen. we had a quarell today. a quarell which happens suddenly. both were not being ourselves i guess. giving him reason, i put down the phone. msg him after that. but, there's no reply. uh. this feeling sucks. insecure. thats the word to describe my feeling. i guess, i must be strong in order to continue the relationship. obviously, i must go through the ups and downs larh. i need ideas: how to please males after quarelling. lols. pls help me. arghhs. nvm. i dont wanna type anymore. i am sleepy now. tmrw sch. no hols! stupid chikuneneh.

buy larh.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
11:39 AM