I carve YOUR name in my heart; PERMANENT.

Dear virtual diary,

Where has all the hearing ears gone to? i need someone to comfort me. i just feel like breaking down. sometimes, i even thought of quitting school. but, i can't. or else, what would i become? a sweeper on the street? haish. now, i am losing my appetite to eat. making jokes for people to laugh is such a far cry. now, i would prefer to just shut my mouth than talk. losing my mood easily these few days and again, i am hearing sounds. digging my throat to vomit out the whole hydrochloric juice in my stomach has been my daily routine. i am already addicted to it. i am deprived of enough sleep. stress with lots of stuff. financially tight, emotionally depressed and mentally exhausted. i am struggling to catch up in the different modules. chemical engineering principles especially. just now, during tutorial, i understand nuts about what the hell the lecturer was teaching. while i look at others, enthusiastically answering her questions. shit. i am a piece of dead meat. get an F for both chemical engineering test. F=Fail. I am a failure. i am stupid. haiz. 3 projects in a row is a hatrix! neither any of them is complete. gosh. so many things to do yet, so little time. i just need someone to be beside me, and listen to my problem. it will at least make me feel better. i will just cry on my own, thinking of the problems i got to face. starting from next week, every monday gonna be a hassle for me. school gonna end at 9pm for care and share programme. i will try my best to catch up with the others.

meeting d tomorrow. i hope nothing will get into our plan. i just got this feeling that, he will end up, sleeping in his room while i make my way to his house. and when i knock on his door, his mum gonna open it and i gonna pass the cake. and she will say, d is sleeping and ask me to come in. then, i think i will just say, " its okay, don't have to wake him up" . then, i am going to go home all the way from tampiness to jurong back. haiz. i hope this is just a something i create. i miss him dearly. i don't know. it seems that he's dammmnnnn busy and got no time for me. i got to understand his career. haiz. i don't know. i am just in need for a listening ear right now.
okay bye.

sincerely,
umairah.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
4:42 PM