I carve YOUR name in my heart; PERMANENT.

haiz. is this what they call growing up? if this the case, i dont wish to grow up. life's is just too fcuking stress for me. it's like, riding a 57605606703m roller coaster which goes round and round and round.

projects here and there, everywhere! tests! assignments! work! relationship! money! *sigh*

my brain has spilt into two i think. i keep hearing sounds which didn't even exist. calling me, speaking to me. then, i will just grab my head and close my eyes. damn stress right now. i feel that i am useless. i am not a good student, not a good friend, not a good girlfriend and not a good child. i just hate life to the core right now.

thanks to me, everyone in my group has to suffer. the project is already 2 days overdue and i am still struggling to send mr kannapan the thinking skills project. this is due to the size of the file and i am so stupid. i don't even know how to resize it. and now, my friend is helping me. see, i am just a nuisance larh.

i am totally screwed up. tomorrow's chemical engineering principles test and yet, i haven't study the whole tutorial. haiz. but how?! i still got my lab report and material scince project to be handed up on tuesday! and yet, neither any of them is complete. haish. big fuck with an ass in the middle larh!

yesterday was more fuck. he called and say " i am already at tamp". i heard it as camp and ask him to repeat. he say " dalah da lah takper. bye". so i just put down the phone. when he met me, the word "sorry" didn't even come out from his mouth. i was totally pissed off with him yesterday. haisz. he walks in front and i was walking behind. when i say, " is your blister okay?" he just raised up his hand. telling my problems to him doesn't make me feel any better. he didn't give advices or cheer me up to make me feel better. i don't find the need to have a bf if he makes me feel no way better. if this goes on, i just have to let go.

his parents, him and me went to his makcik place because of some birthday kenduri. it was okay larh but i don't know the whole lot of them. thus, it is quites boring. you just sit down there and wait for time to pass by. but, looking at those babies makes me feel happy. sweetheart meet up with my parents yesterday. luckily, it was fine, though we fought before hand. we got this skill, which is to act as if nothing happen in front of your parents but actually, you're both pissed off with each other. my parents like him already and his parents like me already. but i don't know if we can go far as we want to larh. because, i am already feeling insecure and i am only 0.99% sure that we can make it far till marriage. hesh.

i don't feel like typing anymore. goodbye.

much love,
umairah

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
9:56 AM